Photo by Joanna Nix-Walkup on Unsplash
When you're in a committed relationship, the bond is so tight that you can't help but share everything with your partner. But when it comes to self-esteem, sometimes it's easier said than done.
How Self-Esteem Affects Relationships
Self-esteem is the way you think about yourself, and it's how you feel about yourself. It affects your relationships with your partner, family, friends and anyone else close to them. If you have low self-esteem, it can be hard to see how wonderful your partner really is.
If you have high self-esteem, then the people around you will love being around you because they like being around someone who likes themselves so much!
Communication Reveals Self-Esteem
Communication can be verbal, non-verbal and physical. It is more than just talking to each other; it is also listening to each other. Communication involves not only what you say but also how you say it and what you don't say.
Communication is a two-way street; both people should feel free to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or ridicule from their partner. If there are things that bother your partner, but they are afraid to tell you because they think it might hurt your feelings, then this could cause problems in your relationship.
Say Something Positive About Yourself
You can be the first one to say something positive about yourself — and not just in passing, but as a way of lifting each other up. And second, you can be the first one to make compliment or praise your partner's appearance or accomplishments. It may seem like a small thing, but if you don't do it first and instead wait for your partner to say something first out of fear that they won't reciprocate? That can leave both people feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable around each other (and eventually even feeling like they aren't worth complimenting).
So, what kinds of things should couples say about themselves? The easiest way is by using positive affirmations; these are statements we tell ourselves over time until we believe them as fact based on repetition alone! If you want examples for yourself, try saying things such as "I am beautiful inside and out" or "My husband loves me no matter what size I am".
Boundaries Protect Self-Esteem
Boundaries are a way to ensure that you and your partner aren't infringing on each other's needs. They can also be a way to protect your self-esteem because setting boundaries is about saying "No" to things that might not be good for you. It's not just about saying no — it's about saying yes to things that will nurture your relationship and make it stronger. Understanding the characteristics of a low self-esteem personality is a great wat to understand your own self-image.
When people feel safe with each other, they're more able to express their feelings and have open conversations about them. This helps couples feel closer together, making their relationship more stable.
Be responsible for yourself and your problems
One of the best ways to help your partner feel more positive about him or herself is to not expect them to solve your problems for you.
Don't expect your partner to be your therapist and psychoanalyse how you feel about yourself, but expect them to cheerlead and tell you what a good person/mother/chef/writer you are all the time.
Don't assume that because they love you, they will want or be able to provide all of these things for you — and if they do, it might not feel genuine anyway! It's okay if your partner doesn't know exactly what's going wrong with one area of your life without doing some investigative work on their own first — all relationships require some give-and-take here.
When you feel bad about yourself, do something kind for someone else
- It can be hard to get out of your funk and do anything constructive toward yourself when you're feeling down. But if you can help someone else, even by taking them out for coffee or giving them an encouraging text message, this helps build up their confidence and yours.
- Helping your partner feel good about themselves is also important because they'll want to reciprocate the favour! If your partner feels bad about themselves, then there's no chance that they'll be able to help you with anything positive — and vice versa. So if one of you starts putting themselves down or feeling depressed, try being supportive instead of asking why they're so negative all the time (which will just make things worse).
Challenge your negative thoughts with positive ones
You're not alone if you struggle with negative thought patterns. These patterns can be difficult to break and cause a lot of stress. The good news is that you can change them if you want to.
One way to challenge your negative thoughts is by replacing them with positive ones. To do this, try writing down a list of positive statements about yourself and your life that have nothing to do with how much weight or size you've lost over the past week (or month). For example: "I'm an amazing mom" or "I love my job." Then write down several things about those items on the list, like what makes being a mom so great for you or why working at a certain job has been rewarding. Consider how true these values are for you now and in the future as well as any time in the past when they were also true for someone else (even if only briefly).
Embrace the things that make you unique
Your partner is the best at many things. There are definitely traits that he or she excels in, and you might be tempted to feel bad about it. For example, your partner might be a better listener than you are. That's okay! It doesn't mean that one of you is better than the other; it just means that each of you has strengths and weaknesses.
Instead of being jealous or upset with yourself for not being like your spouse, embrace who you are as an individual person! You may be more outgoing than your spouse or great at building relationships with people; by accepting this difference between yourselves, you can feel proud of what makes each of you unique instead of feeling jealous or insecure about each others' talents.
Some problems are simply unsolvable. Insults, lies, and humiliation can disturb our feelings and mental health. Even if you are considering divorce, it is best to consult with a lawyer, such as experienced family lawyers in Sydney, to know what procedure awaits you.
Document your accomplishments, no matter how small
Documenting your accomplishments can help you see the bigger picture and remind you that there is more than one way to measure your value.
It's easy for couples to get into a cycle of negative self-talk about their own skills and abilities that prevents them from taking steps to improve themselves - especially when they're in an uncompromising situation. Couples who are constantly fighting with each other don't have time for personal growth or improvement because they are too busy trying not to lose themselves in the war zone their relationship has become!
If either one of you feels like giving up on yourself or on the relationship itself, try listing as many positive things about yourself as possible before getting out of bed every morning (or whenever). Writing something down can be surprisingly powerful — and it may help both parties see things in a better light!
Congratulate yourself on what you have done, not on what others have done
The next time you look in the mirror and find yourself critical of your body, remember that you are beautiful just as you are. Focus on what you have done, not what others have done. Congratulate yourself on the good things you have done or accomplished throughout the day, even if they seem small!
When we compare ourselves to others, it is easy to feel inadequate because their lives appear perfect compared to ours. It's important not to compare ourselves with others at all costs; instead focus on self-improvement and working toward our goals without comparing them with anyone else's progress or achievements in life.
You can build each other up without tearing down anyone else
Some people might think that having a good self-image partner will make you feel worse about yourself, but that isn't necessarily true. A partner who has a positive body image can actually help you have more confidence in your own body and your ability to be attractive. This is because when we look at our partners, we see them as role models for what it means to have a healthy relationship with food and exercise.
Couples can easily get into routines where one person does all the work while the other sits on their couch eating chips. This is why both partners in a relationship need to take responsibility for their health together, instead of expecting each other to do everything alone!
It's important to understand that self-image is a complex issue. It can be affected by many factors, including our relationships with others and how we view ourselves. While it may seem like an impossible task to change this aspect of your life, there are certain steps you can take toward improving your relationship with yourself. If you feel like your partner cares about you but doesn't respect who you are as an individual or even notice when something is wrong — then it might be time for some serious conversation!
Written by Frank Robertson
About the Author
My name is Frank Robertson. I’m a writer. I choose my topics carefully and try to write about topics that can help my readers. Connect with me on Twitter.
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