Overcoming insecurities is something all people come to face at least once in their lifetime. It’s completely fine not to feel okay and to be different. Regaining confidence is a process and it takes time. These tips will hopefully help you find a way to learn how to love yourself and feel comfortable knowing that both your perfections and flaws matter equally.
Practice being objective
The first thing you can do is adjusting your perspective and the way to do it is to practice being objective. Sometimes, all you need to do is take a step back and imagine you are a completely different person. Try to look at the situation from the outside and think about what you would tell another person in that very same situation. For instance, if you are nervous about going to a party or doing a job interview, think about what advice you would give someone else who is in a similar situation. Seeing the very same situation from a different angle will make you realize there is nothing to be scared of.
Write down your fears
You could also practice writing about all the things that make you feel nervous or scared. Read them all and ask yourself whether these factors are rational fears or not. Many of those fears tend to be just a product of negative thinking. Take your time and try to figure out the root of your fears. Try to see how many of those you can tackle on your own and try to come up with as many different positive solutions for these problems. It’s completely natural to have fears and to worry about the future. However, you shouldn’t let them consume you and take control over you, because at the end of the day, they’re just in your head.
Remember all of the success you've had
Don’t focus on all the times you embarrassed yourself, failed at something, or looked silly in front of others. Instead, try taking a good look into your past and remember all the times you’ve accomplished something, no matter how small it is. Think of that assignment you managed to do on your own, or how you helped someone by making them laugh. Reward yourself, even for small accomplishments. It will help you regain your confidence.
It could also be helpful to write down each of your successes. You can keep them in a small journal and keep filling it up with your achievements and positive memories daily. And if you ever feel like you’re failing or doing something wrong, take a look at your journal and remind yourself of all the good things you’ve done. You should be proud of yourself.
Address the flaws you can address
If you’re feeling insecure about your freckles or the sound of your voice, there isn’t much you can do about it. As hard as it sounds, you have to learn how to accept and love these parts of you as much as you love the rest of them.
When it comes to some other things that you can change, feel more than comfortable to do so. Whether you choose to work on your personality or change any small details about your appearance that you personally don’t like, you should be able to do so without being judged. For example, if you feel insecure about the way your teeth look, you can always turn to a dentist and get a professional orthodontics treatment. Just remember that if you want to make these types of changes, it’s important that you do them for yourself and because you want to. Never change these things for anyone else or because someone else expects you to.
Keep nurturing company
Lastly, it’s the people you surround yourself with that matters as well. If you are constantly surrounded by people who are highly critical, negative and are therefore dragging you down with their negative mentality or behavior, you may want to find some new friends. Try finding people who are positive and spread the type of energy you aspire to radiate. Try finding people who are less judgmental and are open to accepting different opinions and points of view.
Constantly being surrounded by negativity and judgmental attitudes makes you absorb the negative energy. For instance, if your friend points out how stupid someone’s hairstyle is, and you happen to like it, you will end up losing your confidence and hiding your opinion just because it is different.
All things considered, having insecurities is completely normal. We all have them. That’s what makes us human. The important thing is how we handle them. Be aware that regaining your confidence is a process of learning how to love yourself and accept your own flaws. It might take some time, so be gentle with yourself.
Written by Helen Bradford
About the Author
Helen Bradford is a journalist and health enthusiast who constantly seeks new ideas to write about. She spends her spare time doing fitness and traveling.
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